Being Closeted and Social Pathology

My understanding is that some gay women will marry a man men and then he's chronically unfaithful and she chooses a lot of his lovers and he tells her about the encounter with in bed later so she can vicariously get her freak on with a woman.

I will suggest that these women are awful people who refuse to make any attempt to accept their sexuality and GLEEFULLY hurt both men and women equally. They resent putting out, send their men to the beds of other women and then play the victim card and pretend they are the wronged party and he's the bad guy. They intentionally hurt women they find attractive.

Years ago on Twitter, I read a tweet saying something like "You are bisexual if you you say you are. You don't OWE anyone a sexual history."

I wrote a post elsewhere about that suggesting that it's a chicken and egg problem. If you first have to sleep with members of both sexes to claim the label, how do you get the requisite experience to say "Yea, verily, I'm definitely bi."?

So if you are a deeply closeted gay woman refusing to come out as gay and get any sexual experience with a woman and the world labels your sexuality based on whom they know you to be sleeping with, what might that look like to other people?

It probably looks something like Hillary Clinton whose husband, by all accounts, is extraordinarily well liked by women and has no problem getting them into bed willingly, yet had to justify his choice of wife to his mother and the world finds their marriage mystifying given that everyone knows he can get someone vastly prettier.

What is their marriage based on? I have no clue but it doesn't appear to be "We just really LIKE each other and can't keep our hands off each other!"

I mean based on what very little I've read about them, it looks like Hillary Clinton could have put the thumbscrews to him in some fashion because she had political ambition and saw no means to achieve her goals as a woman in a man's world and figured she would be the power behind the throne.

That would fit with her OPENLY pissing on every First Lady ever to precede her with bluntly telling the world "You are getting a two for one deal here." as if we hadn't gotten that with every married president ever in the history of the US.

And then she moved to New York to run for senator and made crap up about "I've always loved New York!" when everyone knew it was entirely about seeking political power in her own name when her crude power grab as First Lady failed.

And then somehow she got nominated as a Democratic presidential candidate. I don't follow politics and have no idea how that happened.

I will suggest that for White heteronormative culture in the US, women typically expect to service a man in a polite form of prostitution and they know they are extremely unlikely to be able to compete with men. See: TERFs and White Women.

I believe that closeted gay women tend to be gold diggers because "Ooh, he's RICH!" is the only thing about a man that actually excites them and "married well" is the height of female success in the heteronormative lens of womanhood and catering to what other people think is probably a high priority for people who choose to remain closeted.

I don't understand why anyone would deny themselves sexual satisfaction in a mutually consenting relationship with another adult if "What would the neighbors think?" isn't a powerful metric by which you make life decisions.

In some sense, I never much cared about that and I don't know why. But I cannot fathom being a closeted gay person because that's kind of like starving yourself to meet cultural standards of beauty and I don't do that either.

Once you make that choice, it likely promotes a variety of ugly knock on effects. 

So you would need to infer sexual orientation and closeted status based on a pattern of pathological behavior because there's no "evidence" they are gay in the form of "They have same sex lovers."

I feel strongly that being closeted promotes pathology and this then is a root cause of homophobia and transphobia.

The villains in the two movies The Silence of the Lambs and Dressed to Kill are dysfunctional trans individuals and one of those movies borrows details from actual criminal cases. 

From the Wikipedia page for Dressed to Kill:

While acknowledging similarities to Alfred Hitchcock films (particularly Psycho), Brian De Palma claimed that he got the idea of the murderer from watching a transsexual on The Phil Donahue Show (the show made an appearance in the film).

Internet search tells me:

The Silence of the Lambs draws inspiration from real-life serial killers, particularly Ted Bundy and Gary Heidnik, whose horrific crimes echo the film's chilling narrative.

Buffalo Bill and His Real-Life Inspirations

Gary Heidnik: Heidnik is often cited as a direct inspiration for the character of Buffalo Bill. In the late 1980s, he kidnapped, raped, and tortured six women, keeping them imprisoned in the basement of his Philadelphia home. Heidnik's methods of manipulation and control over his victims, as well as his gruesome acts, parallel the fictional character's horrific actions in the film.

And provides various sources, including this link.

Dressed to Kill is not based on a specific real-life event. Brian De Palma conceived the idea himself, crafting a narrative that blends elements of Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho, Michelangelo Antonioni’s Blow-Up, and even the giallo films of Italian horror cinema. He was fascinated by the psychology of repressed sexuality, the dangers of voyeurism, and the potential for violence lurking beneath the surface of seemingly normal lives.

I've written other related pieces on Genevieve Files such as A Hypothesis which suggests:

So I think homophobia is partly rooted in some kind of awareness that closeted gays are frequently really messed up people and instead of being understood that being in the closet messes you up, it gets simplified to "Wow, gay people are AWFUL." and some people use that as a simplified rule: "Gay = Bad."

And also says:

The gay community currently TENDS to overall break all the rules, feel entitled to do as they please and act like everything would be hunky dory if the rules would just CHANGE and say "It's okay to be gay." Meanwhile, no one trusts you because you make no effort to play by the rules and this OFTEN means you are breaking a LOT more rules than just "boys are supposed to like girls, not other boys."

Gays are currently MOSTLY fighting the wrong battle. They are currently fighting for the right to have sex as they please behind closed doors and you can ALREADY do that no matter what the law says IF you aren't a troublemaker and you STAY out of TROUBLE.

If you are a troublemaker and also have illegal sex behind closed doors, someday someone will find out and USE that against you.

From Trauma and being LGBTQ:

I believe that trauma in the LGBTQ community from family that simply cannot accept them is so common that most people cannot distinguish the damage done by abusive bullshit from "LGBTQ."

From Female Sexuality: An Opinion Piece:

If you are a woman and not sure, I will suggest the following are clues you might be gay:

1. You have gradually become a sadist over time. 2. You like hurting people or hearing stories about people being hurt.

3. You married well and the most exciting thing about your husband in your eyes is his paycheck.

4. You like hearing men talk about their sexual experiences with other women, especially in bed.

Why sadism? I think most likely being deeply closeted means you are so suppressed and repressed you carry a lot of emotional pain and can no longer connect to your sexuality through any lens but pain AND you are tired of being the person getting hurt. If pain is the only way you can connect to your sexuality, you want it to be someone else's pain.

This is a really morally bankrupt way to live and no doubt involves TREMENDOUS misery for the person who has become a sadist and is now hurting others.

I think gay women are faced with a triple whammy:

1. Women are supposed to marry well to support themselves. 

2. Women aren't supposed to initiate.

3. Women aren't typically taught how to pursue their goals.

I'm not saying this justifies anyone deciding to intentionally hurt other people for personal gain. IF -- please note the word IF -- Hillary Clinton really is a highly dysfunctional closeted gay woman running around intentionally shafting people, she graduated from Yale Law School and was viewed as someone with a bright political future before she got with Bill Clinton.

We've all had to fight to be free. My childhood wasn't peachy keen. All lives have some good and some bad and some people use their hard experiences to try to improve the world, be helpful to others with similar problems, etc.

And some use their pain and suffering to justify intentionally hurting people. That's called a crime and I personally have no sympathy whatsoever for privileged people using their money, education and other privileges to intentionally hurt people instead of getting therapy and sorting their personal problems.