Smokers I have known

Some guy on some forum said he quit smoking for his lady. Coolios, I guess that happens, but not for me.

At sixteen, I got naked with a guy I had known from age six or seven. We didn't have intercourse and I didn't want to get with him because I have respiratory problems and he smoked.

So somewhere in there he convinced me he WOULD quit smoking for me. So he quits smoking for like a couple of days or whatever and I sleep with him.

And within 48 hours he resumes smoking and starts making polite noises about tapering off and he is quitting but it's hard.

I came from a dysfunctional family and so did he. The primary basis for this stupid relationship was the fact that his working single mom wouldn't let him have any girls over while she was at work -- except ME because I was a good girl and everyone trusted me or some stupid shit.

It was the start of summer and I want to say we had sex like twice a week while not admitting we were no longer just friends. Fall came, school started, he got a job -- not necessarily in that order -- and twice a week became once a week became once every other week on his way to work so he had a good excuse to fuck me, get dressed and PROMPTLY leave.

I spent years joking to my friends "I should have asked him if he wants fries with that." Drive by sex. Not exactly a good time had by all.

He asked someone else to the prom. I wasn't even offended. Neither of us wanted to admit to the relationship in public while making the expected noises about getting married someday.

I no longer remember which of us officially ended the relationship after eight or ten months of this bullshit facade of a pretend relationship. It wasn't even worth crying over for one of us to decide that fucking for ten minutes every other week would no longer happen and we would no longer dignify this arrangement with pretending to each other it was a relationship while not admitting to anyone else it was a thing.

During my divorce, some asshole I ended up calling Mo had an extremely dysfunctional online relationship to me. One part of that is that he was a smoker and toker and declined to mention that while fast talking me into agreeing to meet him KNOWING I have life-threatening respiratory problems.

Navarre smoked. We didn't really talk about it because while I was nuts about him and would blather on about wanting to marry him and have a baby, he never spoke about such things.

He would politely say "You flatter my ego." Or "That sounds nice." And not really discuss it with me.

Once, he told me he had stopped smoking. A week or two later, he resumed smoking. That's the only indication he ever gave that he ever spent any time hoping we might actually get together and there were a ZILLION other reasons this wasn't going to fly, so him smoking and failing to quit wasn't a cause of friction in the relationship.

Smoking is a means to mitigate depression. One antidepressant that treats a different specific brain chemical than most antidepressants causes so many people to stop smoking as a side effect that it began getting prescribed to help people stop smoking.

I tend to get involved with men prone to depression. I like calm men. Calm men tend to get depressed when stressed out rather than loud and angry.

I feel like I attract smokers because I like calm men. But I haven't put numbers to it and don't really know if I attract a particularly high number of smokers.

The ex was prone to depression. And also allergic to cigarettes. It's one of the reasons the relationship worked.

We had one ashtray in the house, a blue art deco piece stored in a cabinet and pulled out and handed to people who were told to go outside with it when we had guests.

My husband played the role of asshole who wouldn't let you smoke in his house. I got to play the role of diplomatic hostess pulling the ashtray out the cabinet and politely saying "Go on the porch."

My son once say one of the husband's friends start to light up and watched his dad yank the cigarette out the guy's hand and grind it under his boot on the kitchen floor while politely and quietly reminding him there's no smoking in this house.

Odds are long against me ever getting laid again and this is just one of a ZILLION reasons why. Most depressed men aren't allergic to cigarettes and willing to grind the cigarette of a friend of theirs under their boot. POLITELY.