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Self Respect

I guess I was twenty-four. He was twelve years older than me. He was warmer than my husband and having sex with him that first time resolved my issue with reaching orgasm. I wanted to believe that meant it was love.  I married the second guy I slept with. His wife had been with twenty men before marrying him. They were both hippies and drug addicts before he made a radical conversion to Christianity and ultimately became a minister.  She was still an alcoholic. I took one toke off one joint at age sixteen under enormous social pressure, then said no when the pressure continued. That's the extent of my experience using illicit drugs.  I know from second-hand exposure that I'm allergic to marijuana, not from imbibing per se. The longer my relationship to this man went on, the more outraged I was at the idea that if he actually left her and married me, I would be publicly dragged as a harlot destroying the life of a good woman and the presumption that she was a good woman wo...

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